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It’s part of our mammalian brain and is believed to control waking,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sleeping and what we focus our attention on. It is said to block out around 99% of what we consciously notice.
As Tony Robbins so succinctly put it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you ask yourself, “How come I can’t lose weight?” Your brain will say, “because you’re a pig.”
Ask yourself a better question. For me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it’s “How can I?”
Or maybe you’re like my former client and bad things seem to just gravitate toward you…
It was a video of a room full of people, half of whom were dressed in white and half in black, throwing a ball back and forth to each other. The challenge of the video was to focus your attention on how many times a person dressed in black handled the ball during the video. The challenge was heightened by the announcer saying that around 80% of viewers get it wrong.
I was attracting not-so-great guys. You know the kind. Not bad guys. Not the kind of guys who were holding up banks in their spare time, just… not great guys.
But Be Careful…It Works Both Ways!
Does my former client's belief that she has bad luck bring all the bad things that happen to her conscious attention,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or is she drawing bad things in because of the simple law of attraction? That's an article for another day.
After the video played through, the announcer asked the viewers about the gorilla in the room. My friend was astonished. She hadn’t seen a gorilla, so she played the video through again. Sure enough, there was a man dressed as a gorilla right in the middle of all the action, throughout the entire video. And she hadn’t even noticed it. Because she was focused on the ball. (She played the video back a few times to make sure it was the same video – and it was).
You see, there actually IS a scientific explanation for this phenomenon…
That’s RAS in action.
For me, I noticed that lately there’s a lot of, “I can’t do this because… blah,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], blah, blah…” It was completely subconscious and, well… now it’s not. What’s the solution?
For me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], formerly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it was more subtle…
I had an inner belief that all the good guys were taken. Oh,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the roots were deep and there was lots more to it than that. The thing about this kind of stuff is that it’s subtle. It’s been around for awhile and you may not even realize you have these beliefs.
When you start asking a better question, however – for example, “How can I lose weight and have it be an enjoyable experience?” your brain just might remind you that back in the day, you used to love playing racquetball.
Are you beginning to see where I’m going with this?
My friend recently told me a story about a video she saw, which is no longer published due to some copyright stickiness, but I really want to share this story with you. So you’ll just have to take my (and her) word for it. I know, I know! It’s a lot to ask,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], huh?
You may not recognize it at first, because like I said before, many times this stuff has been with us for so long, we don’t even recognize it anymore. The good news is, you don’t have to see the big picture so much as you just need to know what you want. And from there, you can start changing things around.
I have a former client who has this belief and you would not believe the things that happen to her. It seems she’s constantly falling down, breaking things, stepping on glass or having some kind of accident in her life. Falling down stairs is a regular occurrence in her life. And she’s always saying, “that’s just my luck.”
It’s the RAS’s job to bring to your consciousness what you’re looking for. So if you start asking,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “How can I (fill in the blank here)” you’ll start seeing things you never noticed before. Because now that your RAS knows it’s important to you, it will start drawing your attention to ways to make it happen.
You see, the RAS is responsible for keeping our brains from being overwhelmed. for example, have you ever been in a busy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], noisy airport terminal with all kinds of noise going on that you never really register – until you hear your name or flight number?
There's an easy way to do this. Start asking a better question.
Since “How can I…” will be a new question for your brain to process, it might take awhile for it to give you the answer, but if you focus your attention on a better question,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you’ll start noticing the gorilla in the room.
It’s called the “Reticular Activating System” or “RAS.” What the RAS does, is take your subconscious beliefs, whether they’re true or not, and give you evidence of your belief.
Do you have any patterns like this in your life?
Maybe you feel like you keep dating the same guy in a different body?
What I do know, is that when I was stuck in “there are no good guys” belief, that's what I saw everywhere I looked. Once I changed that inner belief, I started seeing good guys everywhere I looked. That's because I programmed my RAS to look for something different.
What are you attracting into your life?
Do you ever tell yourself, or have the inner belief that you “just have bad luck?”
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It got me thinking about words and the power of words: "Jury, disregard that last statement" kind of thing. Or "Don't think about an elephant."
This was brought home to me last evening when I said to Colitta,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as I frequently do throughout the day, "I'm going to beat you up!"
This miracle dog, who died on the operating table and was revived by the first-rate vets in Taos – "Good news! So far it looks like no brain damage!" – has a back with a permanent no-fur, four-inch triangle and her missing teeth give her tongue the perfect place to loll when she pants. But she's beautiful to me, loves me unconditionally and our race seems to be her favorite thing to do.
This observation hit me over the head with the marketing of candidates,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. How refreshing it would be if we could be spared some of the distortions and negativity of the campaign trail - and if civility and veracity ruled.
Of course,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she probably heard it as "Aaar rahaar aarr raaww raw," or something like that, because Colitta is a dog.
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She loves it when I say "I'm going to beat you up!" because it's a fun game we play to see who can get up the stairs the fastest. She smiles (truly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she does smile) and pants and wags her stump of a tail,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], whether she wins the race up the stairs or not. And she always gets extra pettings at the top.
His opponent claimed those words were taken out of context. Maybe they were – I don't know – I'm not writing about the veracity of his keywords. My point is about the power of words and the opposing emotions they can elicit when taken in context and out of context,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
But one frontrunner candidate,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in particular, kept repeating derogatory words about one of his opponents, also a frontrunner. His opponent vehemently denied those words and the media seemed to concur that they were untrue. But this candidate continued to repeat those keywords about the other man over and over, up to the very end of the debate. It seemed obvious he wanted to have them stick – to paint them on his opponent with indelible ink that soaked clear through his skin.
May your coming month be filled with many delights, both large and small.
Until that day,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we can each notice that our own words carry energy and power. It's a good reason to be conscious of the words we choose when we speak to others and to ourselves.
I play this innocent game with my “rescue” pooch – my cherished dog who, on her first day in my home, shook so badly from fear I thought her heart would stop and all fours would stand straight up in the air. She had been kept outside in a pen for the first seven years of her life – even in the bitter cold weather we have in these northern New Mexico mountains.
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If someone were to write that Ellen frequently says to Colitta, "I'm going to beat you up,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," without putting those words into the context of our race up the stairs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], how distorted they could become.
I watched one of the Presidential debates the other night and it reminded me just how powerful words are. During the debate, all candidates repeated words they wanted to sink into Americans' consciousness. (In computerspeak,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I guess we'd call them "keywords".)
Ellen
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if we live long enough. They include:
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See the list below of some effective natural remedies you can do at home to temporarily relieve the pain caused by toothache. the remedies below are not toothache solutions in themselves; the remedies given below should not replace professional dental attention – you will still need to go see your dentist to get the proper (and long-lasting) toothache dental treatment. how many employees you will have,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Expenses are deductible and I bet you will learn quite a few things each year. Be Easy To Pay. With auto-renewal the responsibility to stop working with you is now on the client instead of the burden of re-signing people falling to you. Author's Bio: Their quality is guarantee,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
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a. The stance you assume while standing still is important because it indicates your confidence and comfort level. If you slouch your shoulders and fix your eyes on the floor,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your audience will think you are shy and weak. If you repeatedly shift your weight from one foot to another, you appear uncomfortable and nervous, and your movement may distract your audience. But when you stand straight, with your feet shoulder-length apart and your weight evenly distributed on each foot, and look directly at your listeners, you convey confidence and poise.
? It allows you to establish a bond with listeners.
? It holds their attention.
? It demonstrates you are speaking honestly.
? It conveys self-confidence.
? It shows you are listening.
,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? It acknowledges people.
Ever listen to someone speaking and realize that something about that person just did not ring true? Something about the way he carried himself conflicted with his words. Maybe, it was his inability to look you in the eye. Perhaps, his hands distracted you. Or maybe it was the facial expressions that just did not quite match what he was saying? No, now you realize it was his stance; focused, truthful people just don’t carry themselves that way. As you will see, the body tells its own story. Often you can read someone and reassure yourself whether that person is trustworthy or someone you are right to run away from right now. Let’s look more closely at body language.
a. Have you ever conversed with someone who would not look at you directly? The person looked over your shoulder, above your head,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], at the floor, or even at someone else—everywhere but at you. What did you think? The person probably made you uneasy. Most likely, you doubted that person’s interest, honesty,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and confidence. Or perhaps you felt ignored. Eye contact plays a major role in how people perceive one another, and, as a speaker, you should pay special attention to it. If you make eye contact with your listeners, they’ll think you are sincere, credible, friendly, and honest. These feelings have a great impact on how listeners receive your message.
d,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Hand placements to avoid include:
? Hands cupped, one holding the other at the waist
? Hand at side ready to make a gesture
? The parent—pointing figure
? The fist—anger and stress
? The karate chop—looks violent
d. Eye contact to avoid includes:
b. Eye contact has other benefits:
? Staring too long at one person
? Looking above people’s heads
? Looking up at the ceiling, or out the window
b. This is called the rooted position. Imagine your feet have roots buried deeply in the ground. It will be impossible for you to sway or get off balance. This is the position of power and strength.
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? Touching the face
? Hands in the pocket
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? Prayer position
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? Same placement for too long
c,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Sample hand placements include:
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4. Assume the rooted position to convey confidence.
? Size, weight, shape, direction, and location
,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Importance or urgency
? Comparison and contrast
c. When speaking in front of a group of people:
2. Hand gestures show conviction and enthusiasm.
Your face unwittingly conveys cues about how your listeners are supposed to react or feel. If you are talking about a terrible automobile accident, yet you are smiling and nodding, your audience will be confused, not sad. Your facial expression must be consistent with the feelings or information you are communicating.
a,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Some basic hand gestures show:
Hand gestures are the most expressive part of body language. To be most effective, make your hand gestures above your elbow and away from your body. They should be vigorous and definite to show conviction and enthusiasm. A sweeping wave of your arm to show distance will add more to your message than a half-hearted hand wave. Hand gestures also should be full and varied rather than partial and repetitious; making the same movement over and over is distracting. Make your hand gestures larger for large audiences to ensure that even people in the back of the room can see them.
Body Language Tells the Truth
1. The eyes don’t lie.
? Look at your audience before you launch your speech.
? Scan from one side to the other before you speak.
? Contact and connect with one person at a time.
? Hold your eye contact for 3 to 4 seconds for each person.
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3. Make sure your facial expression supports your words.
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b. Hand gestures to avoid include:
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Enlist the Help of Your Subconscious
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